Fixation

 

I just realised something interesting about myself recently. I had developed feelings for someone few days back. I had few "Expectations" of what I wanted the person to do. Like not anything romantically but more platonically because I just became friends with them.The things included all the things I would want a friend to do for me like be there for me, strike a conversation or just hanging out. 

Spoiler Alert, nothing happened, I see this person very rarely, we barely talk because of various factors. But what happened in these past few days is I became friends with other people and these people have done the exact same thing that I used to daydream about doing with this specific person. The things that these people did and they honestly made me happy, but  I wasn't that happy.

I realised that there are people who are ready to be there for me, but sometimes I am so fixated on certain people that I forget to be grateful for people who are actually there for me. As I am getting older I am getting a firm hold of my reality and I am focusing on the people who are there for instead of filling gaps in my head for people that I "Like" not even doing the bare minimum for me. I am proud of that progress, it was a lot of hard work but I did reach this point and I am grateful for it. 

I am just trying to say is keep your eye on things that are actually there, keep your eyes on people that actually show up instead of placing your head in the sky. In a space where you imagine your "favorite"people doing things for you which are not even bare minimum. I know it is hard but face the reality, show up for people who show up for you.

Thank You💗

-MJM.