I am an Alien.

 Yes, this is going to my confession blog. I am actually an alien and my name is Jadu. You might have seen me on your Television screen. Yes, that was me. I love the sun and the color yellow. Okay, I am just kidding, i know none of y'all trusted that{hopefully}. 

But in reality i am an alien, not the Jadu or E.T kind but i do feel like I don't belong here, I belong in some other planet. I am pretty sure, millions of people feel this way, but again feeling this was also doesn't mean you are alone because there are thousands that feel that exact feeling along with. It is just that our society has criticized talking about talking about our feelings. The society may call them "Attention Seeker", "Losers" or any derogatory term to describe anyone who is in touch with their emotions.

So, consider as an attempt of me talking about my experience feeling like a outsider most of my life. Here it goes, since I was younger I always have felt like a outsider. I have felt like outsider in my own home in some occasions, left like an outsider when I was with my peers, always felt that I am always part of something wrong.  The places I assumed who would home me to feel included also felt out of place. 

But why have I felt this way all my life ? After quite some retrospection I would say they were couple of reasons. 

1. It may be Me. 

The first being quite obvious, it's me hi, I am the problem{Casually quoting TS} I  may have gone to the wrong places, seeking love and affection.  I am a different individual  with different needs and different mindset. It could be possible that people may not necessary like the way think. 

2. Other People 

There may be a tiny chance that is not me but them. This sounds like the perfect breakup story. But there may be a chance that people may struggle to relate with me. This has often happened to me. It could be the fact that I don't speak certain languages, it could be that I don't do certain things or it could also be possible that "I am not Cool",it could honestly be any of this things or something else that I am not aware about. 

And sometimes  people are not as accepting. They would rather hangout with the same kind of the crowd. 

3. Delusion 

It could be that I perfectly fit in, in most of the places.  I may feel out of the place due to my own insecurities or past experience  .  All of this could be in my own head. I could be own imagining or overthinking some situations. My mind may be the reason for own doom. 

It could be my teenage mind telling me something that isn't real.

Or it could be all the three reasons combined. This blog is more of a rant and I personally believe that I  haven't properly justified how I have felt. But I hope that anyone who is reading this and feels like outsider, know that you are not alone. Most of us feel this way and it is totally normal. 

Thank You💟

-MJM.